I place my cold feet on the still colder floor,
Thinking and dwelling on the night just before.
My heart feels as chilled as the buttercream tile,
I haven't felt warmth in such a long while.
Turning my head from the coming of dawn
I feel like my pain will never be gone.
I remembered your eyes as they looked at me last night,
Come on, they said; let's let go for tonight.
We took turns kissing and pleasing one another,
But I was the one not heated by the other.
You sighed as you took me and took me so hard,
But I felt more empty than a blank 'miss you' card.
Never in my life had I ever hurt more,
Never so hollow or so helpless before.
Moment after moment I squeezed shut my eyes,
And forcefully suppressed my tears and my cries.
I was so glad you could not see my face,
Oh how I wanted to be out of that place.
After you finished I just felt so used,
So empty, so wasted, so hopelessly confused.
Everything was perfect and you did all of it right,
But why was it such an sensationless night?
I take that back because that is a lie,
At first it is truth but I really know why.
I felt the discomfort and all of the pain,
Not much to lose and yet nothing to gain.
I felt all the shame and I felt all the guilt,
I felt like I lost all the confidence I'd built.
The worst of it all was no fault of his own,
That what was wrong he couldn't have known.
It was no conflict of any word spoken,
For I am the problem as I am so broken.
My spirit carries on but my body has failed,
And  my nerves are shot and my system derailed.
No more can I feel the sweet heat of pleasure,
For physically it's lost like Atlantean treasure.
Leaving his bed I hang my head low,
I silently leave for now I must go.
Fading away like a fog in the sun,
I leave this place and I now come undone.